Truce of the Kingdoms
by Rikku Leonhart
Summary: What happens when a truce is made, and all of Wei, SWu, and Shu are stuck in the same kingdom? Chaos, chaos, and some more chaos. Not to mention two strategists trying to kill a third. Contains some yaoi and language.
1. Truce

Hello and welcome to my new story: The Truce of the Kingdoms! Enjoy. Oo

Disclaimer: Don't own Dynasty Warriors... just copies of 3&5. If I owned them... I'd probably be rich enough to genetically recreate Zhou Yu.  
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Chapter One: Truce**

"Then it's settled!" Liu Bei stated, standing up and shaking Sun Ce's hand, before turning to Cao Cao and shaking his hand as well.

"Yes, it is. Excellent." Cao Cao replied, shaking Sun Ce's hand after releasing Liu Bei's.

Sun Ce smiled, before stating, "Then we'll celebrate. I invite both Shu and Wei to a 7-day celebration at the Kingdom of Wu."

The Shu and Wei Commanders nodded before leaving the Wu commander. They held no conversation, only left the palace to return to each of their strategists, who were blushing brightly. Cao Cao and Liu Bei raised their eyebrows, giving each of the strategists a confused look.

"Are you two alright?" Liu Bei questioned, one eyebrow still raised, his expression quizzical.

Sima Yi cleared his throat before saying, "Perfectly. How was the meeting, my lord?" he asked, turning to his own lord, Cao Cao.

Cao Cao gave a curt nod. "We have agreed on a moment of peace. Sun Ce of Wu has invited Shu and Wei to a 7-day long celebration. We have accepted. Therefore, we return to our kingdoms and return with our officers."

Zhuge Liang turned to Liu Bei. "My lord, is this true?"

Liu Bei nodded to his strategist. "Yes. We leave immediately to bring back our officers."

Cao Cao turned to Liu Bei, shaking his hand before mounting the horse beside Sima Yi. Liu Be did the same and they rode out the front gates of Wu's Kingdom before turning to go opposite directions.

"Well, Lord Cao Cao, I will see you shortly." Liu Bei said before kicking his horse forward. The Wei commander nodded before kicking his own horse on, each heading back to their kingdoms for their officers.

**3 days later**

Sun Ce paced back and forth before his palace gates, Zhou Yu standing off to the side, watching him. The handsome strategist was not one to pace when nervous, so he stood his ground and merely watched his best friend pace. Finally, he sighed.

"My lord, must you pace?"

"How can you NOT! Zhou Yu, my two GREATEST ENEMIES are going to be here soon! Their messenger arrived only awhile ago! How can you NOT pace?" he half shouted, totally shocked at the calmness of his friend.

Zhou Yu gave a soft chuckle. "Because, sir, I do not pace when nervous. I merely stand my ground."

"My lord! Shu has arrived!" a soldier atop the wall over the gates yelled, turning around.

Sun Ce would have ripped out some of his hair, had it not been for Zhou Yu, who stepped up next to him and gave a quick order. "Open the gates! These are our guests!"

The order was obeyed, and slowly, the gates opened to reveal Liu Bei, accompanied by Zhuge Liang and, behind him, some of Shu's greatest officers. Liu Bei dismounted his Hex, and Zhuge Liang dismounted his horse, as they walked forward, bowing to Sun Ce. Sun Ce bowed back, and they remounted their horses.

"Lord Liu Bei… I shall lead you to the stables, where you and your men may leave your horses." a soldier said, stepping up to Liu Bei and bowing.

Liu nodded and followed the man as he headed off to the opposite side of Wu's Kingdom, towards the stables. Zhou Yu watched the officers ride by, recognizing most of them by their faces and weapons. After the last one had ridden away, the gates slowly closed again, and Sun Ce heaved a huge sigh.

"You did well, my lord." Zhou Yu said with approval, looking straight at the gates before him. "I will handle this if you wish."

Sun Ce swallowed hard and nodded before beginning to laugh, placing a hand on Zhou Yu's shoulder. The elegant man turned to look at his friend in shock. "My lord, are you alright?"

"Yes… haha… quite… just… funny…" Sun Ce trailed off into a fit of laughter that ended abruptly when another soldier turn to report the appearance of Wei.

"Open the gates!" Zhou Yu ordered. The gates once more slowly opened and some of Wei's officers rode in, with Cao Cao and Sima Yi stopping right in front of Sun Ce. Cao Cao gave Sun Ce a hard look before dismounting and bowing deeply to him.

"It's great to be back, lord Sun Ce." he said before remounting.

A soldier, different than the one before, quickly walked up to Cao Cao, bowing. "Lord Cao Cao, if you would follow me, I'll lead you and your men to the stables."

The Wei officers trooped after the soldier, and the gates snapped shut again. Sun Ce let out another long sigh and turned to Zhou Yu. "I could imagine what would happen if you'd lost your cool, too." he joked, laughing loudly.

The cultured man nodded and smiled before turning and heading back towards the castle. Sun Ce followed at a more leisurely pace, his hands folded behind his head.

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Sorry that the first chapter's so short... and kind of boring... but I promise the next one'll be better. It should probably tickle your funny bone. Tickles mine... and I believe Hieirulesall liked it, too. Anyhow, review!


	2. Settling In

Hi everybody! I'm so sorry this took so long to upload. Thanks to everybody who reviewed my story. I do have a full explanation, and if you want to read it, just keep reading, obviously. If you'd rather skip to the story, just skip the next paragraph.

Lately, my oldest brother has taken to sleeping in the computer room, with his feet sticking WAY over to where the computer chair should be. This has been going on for a couple months and because of it, I can only get on the computer when he's not home. That only happens when he goes to work on Saturdays, Sundays, and sometimes, but hardly ever, Mondays. I do have 1 more chapter that I'll upload with this chapter, so I hope that makes up for it. >

And is it just me, or is this story completely crazy?

Chapter Two: Settling In

Dinner that evening was quite eventful. Wu sat at one table in the large dining hall, while Wei sat at another, and Shu sat at yet another. Zhou Yu was glaring at Zhuge Liang, who was sitting, much to his disappointment, too far away for him to murder without anybody noticing. As he plotted the Sleeping Dragon's death, nobody noticed Sima Yi glaring at the back of Zhou Yu's head.

"Stupid fool! Move your damned head before I cut it off… I want to watch him drink his drink!" Sima Yi exclaimed quietly to himself. He stood up, slamming his hand down on the table, and causing a few people to look at him. "ZHOU YU OF WU! MOVE YOUR DAMN HEAD!"

Zhou Yu fell out of his chair as Sima Yi screamed as loud as he possibly could. He looked at Wei's strategist, as the man sat back down triumphantly and took a few deep breaths, his gaze set on Zhuge Liang. Zhou Yu muttered something about sinister strategists before standing up and dragging his chair closer to Sun Ce before sitting back down.

Liu Bei was quite shocked by the outburst from Wei's strategist. He stared at the man with a quizzical look on his face for a few moments before he realized that the man was glaring back at him. He gave a startled squeaking sound before turning back to his food and conversing with Zhao Yun. Sima Yi continued to glare at Zhuge Liang, who clearly wasn't planning on drinking his wine. He gave an angry growl, causing Zhang He, who was sitting to his right, to give him a startled look, both eyebrows raised.

Standing up again, Sima Yi marched over to Shu's table, where he stopped next to Zhuge Liang and gave him a death glare. The strategist calmly looked up at him. "Yes, Master Sima Yi?"

"Drink the damn wine." Sima Yi growled through clenched teeth.

Zhuge raised an eyebrow. "Do you think me to be a fool? I'm well aware that you poisoned it."

By now, everyone was staring at the two strategists. This didn't phase Sima Yi or Zhuge Liang one bit, as the Wei strategist glared at the other. "Me? I'd never do such a thing."

Zhuge Liang nodded his head slowly, rolling his eyes slightly. "Then you may drink it."

"No, _you _drink it."

"Zhang He?" Zhuge Liang called to the Wei table. The handsome young man was there in a second, sliding gracefully up next to Sima Yi, a bright smile on his face. "Would you care to drink my wine? I fear I don't have an appetite for it."

"I'm not into alcohol, Master Zhuge Liang, but if you'd like me to, I most certain--"

Sima Yi clamped his hand over Zhang He's mouth, his eyes narrowed at Zhuge Liang. "Fine. I poisoned it. You proved your point." he snapped before turning and stomping back to his own table, dragging Zhang He with him. "Goddamn smart alec…"

At Wu's table, Sun Ce and Zhou Yu were watching, their eyebrows raised and laughter building up in Sun Ce's throat. They watched, along with the rest of the occupants of the dining hall, as Sima Yi marched back to Wei's table, Zhang He in tow. Everyone was silent as the strategists slammed back down in his seat, after shoving Zhang He into his own, and poked angrily at his food. Then the hall burst back into noise, full of conversations between everybody. Sun Ce suggested that Sima Yi's never-ending mission to kill Zhuge Liang was because he loved him. This statement caused Zhou Yu to make a mental note to stop trying to kill the Shu strategist.

"You know, I've noticed that you try to kill him. Zhou Yu, do _you_ like Zhuge Liang?" Sun Ce asked seriously, though if Zhou Yu were looking, he would've seen the humor in his eyes.

"WHAT?" Zhou Yu exploded, standing up quickly and knocking his chair over. He calmed himself and sat down before quietly hissing, "My lord, I ask that you remove such a… a… _disgusting _thought from your mind this instant."

Sun Ce burst out laughing, clutching his side, and tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. After a moment, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and sighed, unclenching his stomach. "You should've seen the look on your face, Yu. It was priceless!"

Zhou Yu blushed brightly, and cleared his throat before saying, "Sun Ce, don't you have something to tell everybody?"

As if suddenly realizing that he did, the Wu leader slapped himself on the forehead. "Of course! I've got to let them know about the room arrangements!"

"Room arrangements…?" Zhou Yu questioned as Sun Ce stood up, clearing his throat loudly and waited until he had everyone's attention.

"I would like to welcome everybody to the Kingdom of Wu. As you know, there is a peace treaty, which is obviously the reason for our celebrations. There's only one problem… and that's the room arrangements. We need to share rooms due to the lack of space. So if everyone would pair up, it'd make everything easier." the young leader said the last bit while grabbing Zhou Yu's shoulder.

Everyone was silent for a moment before they all started rushing around, trying to find someone they wouldn't really mind spending a week sharing a room with. At the Shu table, Zhao Yun ducked under the table to avoid Liu Bei, who seemed to be looking for him. The young man saw the leader's feet walking around the table towards where he had been sitting, and scrambled out from under the table, knocking over poor Jiang Wei, who had been heading towards his mentor. Liu Bei waved at Zhao Yun, and the man looked around wildly before gripping Jiang Wei's elbow and giving Liu Bei an apologetic look.

"Let me go, you buffoon. I need to get to the Prime Minister…" Jiang Wei whined, pulling on his arm.

Zhao Yun clamped a gloved hand over Jiang Wei's mouth as Liu Bei approached. "I'm sorry, my Lord, but Jiang Wei's a good friend of mine."

Liu Bei nodded before turning and walking away, looking around for somebody else to room with. Jiang Wei bit down on Zhao Yun's hand and pulled his arm away before slamming himself back into his seat. He crossed his arms and threw insults back and forth in his mind, but stayed silent. The ever-so-intelligent Prime Minister walked over gracefully, coming to a stop before his student.

"Jiang Wei. I take it you will room with me?" he asked lazily.

Jiang Wei's frown deepened and he shook his head somewhat angrily. "Of course not, Prime Minister. This… this… _moron_ stopped me from rooming with you. I'm sorry, sir."

Zhuge Liang was quite taken aback by this statement and nodded before turning and stomping off, fuming over the fact that his student had been taken from him. Sun Ce began counting down from 10, and Zhuge Liang walked around, desperate to find somebody to room with…

"2..."

Anybody!

"1! STOP!" Sun Ce yelled. "SIT NEXT TO YOUR ROOMMATE!"

Zhuge Liang froze and watched in horror as everyone sat next to their roommates. The only people still standing were himself, Cao Cao, Liu Bei… and Sima Yi.

"Okay… Cao Cao… you room with Liu Bei. And Zhuge Liang…"

_Oh dear GOD no…_

"You can room with Sima Yi."

Zhuge Liang let out a groan and Sima Yi yelled in anger, as Zhou Yu stood up triumphantly, pointing and laughing at the Shu strategist. He slowly made his way to the seat next to Sima Yi, and waited for the feast to end.

"Well… that went well." Sun Ce said happily as he sat back down.

Zhou Yu nodded and observed the pairings… Gan Ning was with Lu Xun, Cao Cao with Liu Bei, he with Sun Ce, Jiang Wei with Zhao Yun, Sun Quan with, of course, Zhou Tai, Zhang He with Cao Pi, and Zhuge Liang with Sima Yi. This last pair made Zhou Yu want to laugh triumphantly again, but he kept quiet, as Sun Ce stood once again.

"Thank you all for attending our feast. Since we are finished, I believe it's about time we retired. Our servants will show you to your rooms. Sleep well." Sun Ce stated before turning and leaving the hall, Zhou Yu close behind him. The was silence for a few seconds before the rest of the hall burst into action as people pushed back their chairs and headed out the main entrance to the hallway, where there were plenty of servants waiting to bring each group to their own rooms.

Oh yea... it's definitely a bit screwy. I scare myself sometimes. Hahaha... Reviews would be really awesome.  



	3. Sweet Dreams

Here we are... chapter 3. Hw exciting. Here we get to see if people can honestly get along. I doubt it though, mwahahaha... Erm... clears throat So, yea, anyhow... Enjoy the randomness of this chapter... which seems to be longer than it should be. Long beyond all reason. 

Chapter 3: Sweet Dreams

Lu Xun burst through the door of his and Gan Ning's room and dove onto the bed, bouncing up and done a couple times before sitting, his legs hanging off the edge of the bed. Gan Ning walked in and raised an eyebrow at the small boy before walking over, throwing him over his shoulder, and placing him down near the door. Then he stole poor Lu Xun's spot on the bed.

"Hey! HEY! NO FAIR, GAN NING! I WAS THERE FIRST!" he screamed, glaring at the pirate, who was now lazily reclining. Receiving no response from the pirate, Lu Xun grumpily spread out the mat they had been given and flopped down on it, laying with his back facing Gan Ning. "Stupid pirate. I hope you dream of falling down a set of stairs."

Gan Ning didn't get to hear this… wondrous remark, as he had already fallen asleep.

Elsewhere in the castle

"WHAT are you doing!"

"I am merely brushing my hair."

"You've been brushing it for the past 15 minutes!"

"I must always look my best."

"You… look… FINE! Now stop and go to sleep!"

Zhang He turned around and gasped, covering his mouth gracefully as he observed Cao Pi with shocked eyes. "My, my, what an incredible compliment. I'm not worthy of such a thing, sir!" he said, placing his comb onto the dresser walking over to the bed and sitting down next to Cao Pi, who gave him a disturbed look.

"What are you doing?"

"Why, I'm getting ready for my beauty sleep." Zhang He replied as he retied his hair up and shrugged an oversized shirt over his body. He smiled at Cao Pi merrily, who twitched.

"On the bed? I don't think so. You're sleeping on the floor." Cao Pi snapped back, taking off his boots, and cape, but leaving the rest of his clothes on. He stood, one hand on his hip, and stared at Zhang He.

"Heavens, no, sir. If I sleep on that hard floor, I might ruin my body…"

"Get down."

"I must refuse such an order."

Cao Pi ground his teeth together, hissing angrily, "Get. Down. Now."

"Why can you not sleep there instead?"

"Because… I am higher ranking than you. NOW GET DOWN."

Zhang He gave a long, dramatic sigh and climbed off the bed, laying down on the floor mat, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. Cao Pi sighed and removed his shirt, climbing onto the bed, and blowing out the candle on the nightstand. Just as he began to fall asleep, he heard irritated grunts. He sat up and looked at Zhang He, who was rolling all over.

"NOW what're you doing?"

"Getting comfortable, my lord." Zhang He replied as merrily as ever.

Cao Pi flopped back down again, only to hear Zhang He once again roll over. "FINE! TAKE THE BED!"

"My lord… you're so generous." Zhang He said, smiling happily as he switched spots with Cao Pi.

"Whatever."

Elsewhere in the castle… again

"You know… I really hate you."

"That's nice."

"I hope you die a slow, painful death."

"Better than a death coming from a big perverted guy raping me. That wouldn't be slow at all. Just painful." Zhao Yun replied, wagging his index finger back and forth at Jiang Wei, one hand on his hip, and leaning forward, winking and smiling.

Jiang Wei made a disgusted face. "You're mad. Truly and definitely mad. You shouldn't even be allowed to walk… they need to put you in a mental place or something."

Zhao Yun shrugged. "Well, since your highness is so grumpy and snotty, I'll let you have the bed. Maybe then your mood'll be wonderful in the morning. Sleep sweetly, little girl."

The Little Dragon laughed as he blew out the candle and laid down on the floor mat. Jiang Wei hissed, "I'm not a girl!" before climbing onto the bed and laying down.

Weee! Magic carpet ride to Sun Ce and Zhou Yu's room!

"My lord, what are you doing?"

"Zhou Yu, am I your lord right now? Are we on a battle field? No. I didn't think so." Sun Ce stated, rolling his eyes as he jumped up and down on the bed.

The elegant man raised an eyebrow, watching warily as his best friend jumped up and down on the bed. "Fine. _Sun Ce_, you're going to fall, and probably crack your head open. And then Wei will attack and burn your precious stuffed animal and probably shave me bald…"

Now Sun Ce really did fall. He slipped and fell flat on his face before struggling back to his feet and looking around wildly. Suddenly, he let out a shrill cry. "OH MY GOD! THEY'VE ALREADY ATTACKED! I DON'T SEE BOBO ANYWHERE!"

Zhou Yu suddenly burst into laughter, his musical voice filling the air, as he pointed towards the floor next to the bed, trying to catch his breath. "Ce, he… he's… right there! Hah…haha…" he stated between gasps for breath and his laughter.

Sun Ce whirled around and looked down at the floor, then let out a childish, giddy shout and scooped up a purple stuffed teddy bear with a blue and green polka dotted ribbon around its neck, hugging it tightly.

Outside the partially opened door stood Sun Quan, his mouth wide open at the sight of his elder brother hugging a purple teddy bear. He stifled his laughter as he turned and attempted to sneak back to his own room across the hall. Unfortunately for him, before he even had a chance to take a step forward, he slammed right into something… hard. He blinked and looked up to see Zhou Tai, a stern look on his face.

Sun Quan let out a nervous laugh. "Er… hey Zhou Tai… how's it… going?"

Zhou Tai rolled his eyes and shoved Sun Quan towards the room they were sharing, then went back across the hall to Sun Ce and Zhou Yu's room, said good night, and closed their door. Sun Quan was already sitting on the floor when Zhou Tai got back.

"…"

"Hello again, Zhou Tai." Sun Quan said merrily. Zhou Tai had this ever so slight feeling that Sun Quan had downed a little bit too much wine. Just a slight feeling. Ignoring the so-drunk-his-hangover-tomorrow-will-be-deadly Sun Quan, he climbed onto the bed and blew out the lantern's flame. Unfortunately for him, peaceful sleep wouldn't come until Sun Quan got too tired to giggle in a very unmanly way about how he couldn't see his pinky finger in front of his face.

Magic carpets again!

"I hate you."

"That's absolutely marvelous to hear, Master Sima Yi. Now, if you'd please be quiet, I'd like to sleep."

"Make me shut up them." Sima Yi snapped back from his spot on the floor. Him and Zhuge Liang had played Rocks, Papers, Scissors, for who would have the bed. Best 2 out of 3. Zhuge Liang ended with 2, while Sima Yi had 0. It's not the best idea in the world to listen to the somewhat perverted ranting of a strategist who was determined to beat you in such a simple hand game and sleep on a bed rather than the floor.

"How about you do the world a miraculous favor, and shut up on your own. I know it's difficult." Zhuge Liang snapped, not opening his eyes for a second.

Growling, Sima Yi picked the book Zhuge Liang had brought to read and chucked it as hard as he could at the other man's head. Of course, we all know Zhuge Liang has that weird skill of not being killed… he only caught it and placed it on the bed next to him and went back to sleep.

"Freak." Sima Yi growled before rolling over.

Oooooh yea. Definitely long beyond all reason. I'll try to finish Chapter 4 and get it up as soon as possible. In the mean time, why not review?


	4. Things That Go BUMP in the Night

Here we are again... Thanks to the whole 2 people who reviewed on my recently added chapters, even though I got tons of hits on it. Really, it makes me feel so wonderful when I get tons of hits and nobody reviews. -.-

This story is just getting crazier and crazier. This chapter may be too difficult for some to read without dying from laughing. I swear it's all from listening to hyperactive JPop and eating lots 'n' lots of sugar. Be warned...

Chapter 4: Things That Go BUMP in the Night

he wasn't feeling the least bit sleepy, due to the fact that he was laying on a mat, on the floor. Mats don't keep the floor from being hard. He had been laying the way he was for the past hour, at least, and was just about to get up and head to the kitchens for a snack, when he heard a loud bang, followed by a yell. The poor boy nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Gan Ning… Hey, Gan Ning!" he hissed into the darkness frantically. When he heard no reply, he panicked and crawled over to the bedside, grabbing the pirate's arm and shaking him roughly. "Gan Ning! WAKE UP!" he whispered loudly.

Lu Xun lay on his back uncomfortably, staring blankly up at the ceiling. To tell the truth,

Said pirate merely made an irritated growling noise and rolled over. Lu Xun, frowning, stood up and pulled on Gan Ning's arm so roughly, the pirate fell out of bed and onto the floor.

"AGH!" Gan Ning yelled loudly in surprise, as he grabbed his sword from the floor and jumped up, whirling around to face Lu Xun, who let out a shrieking noise and ducked quickly. "DIE, SCUM! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO SNEAK UP ON GAN NING… of… the… bells? Hey, Lu Xun, why're you under the bed?"

Lu Xun crawled out from under the bed shakily, laughing nervously. "Oh, heh… heh… No reason. I was… ahem… checking for dust bunnies."

Gan Ning rose an eyebrow and nodded his head ever so slightly. "Eh… uh huh…"

"Never mind that, though. Did you hear that bang a few minutes ago?"

"What bang?"

"The bang that was loud…. And was followed by a yell?"

"Nope, can't say that I -- Hey! HEY! What're you doing!"

Lu Xun had grabbed the pirate's arm in a grip that you wouldn't guess possible for someone of his size, and proceeded to drag the pirate towards the door. He opened it slowly, hoping it wouldn't make any noise, but the hinges made a noise somewhat similar to that of nails on a chalkboard. Gan Ning grimaced and attempted to pull his arm free so he could cover his ears, but Lu Xun only held tighter, holding a finger up to his lips and shushing him.

"We need to find out what the scream was about!" Lu Xun snapped quietly before releasing Gan Ning and shoving him lightly out the door.

"Alright, alright. Yeesh…" the pirate muttered as he crept down the hallway, the young strategist following closely behind him.

As the two continued to creep down the hallway, another loud bang sounded, and Lu Xun gave another loud shriek and jumped so far forward, he ended up piggy back style on poor Gan Ning's back. There was a loud bang in the room right next to them and the door swung open to reveal a very horrified looking Sun Ce, holding a purple stuffed bear.

There was silence for a few moments before Gan Ning screamed and pointed at Sun Ce, causing Lu Xun to start shrieking again, and then finally causing Sun Ce to squeal loudly. They continued to scream loudly until there was another loud crash from the bedroom and Zhou Yu stumbled out quickly, waving his sword around like a madman.

"WHO'S INVADING!" he yelled loudly.

The other three generals stopped their screaming and gave Zhou Yu an odd look. He lowered his sword and looked at each of them in turn, then smiled sheepishly. Sun Ce burst out laughing, and dropped his purple teddy bear. There was massive struggle between Lu Xun and Gan Ning as the pirate tried to force him to get off of his back. The pirate then noticed the purple teddy bear and bent over to pick it up.

"What the hell… is this?" he asked, proceeding to squeeze the bear and causing it to make a squeaking noise.

"Gimme my Bobo!" Sun Ce whined, reaching out for his stuffed bear. Gan Ning merely put his hand out onto Sun Ce's chest, and examined the bear closely.

"Bobo?"

"That's his stuffed teddy bear." Zhou Yu informed him.

Gan Ning was about to reply when the loud bang sounded again, causing Lu Xun to once again shriek loudly. Sun Ce whirled around, totally forgetting Bobo, and stared at Zhou Yu suspiciously, as if he had made the loud bang. He opened his mouth to inquire, when the door across the hallways burst open, and Sun Quan came flying out with his sword, and Zhou Tai following behind him.

"WHO INVADING!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Zhou Yu gave him an incredulous look as he raised an eyebrow. "Quan, that's been used already."

Zhou Tai stared at the other's for a minute before asking, "What's going on?"

"I don't know, but that's the third bang in the past 10 minutes." Lu Xun replied after detaching himself from Gan Ning who had proceeded to practically strangle him in his fright.

Sun Quan, having calmed down slightly, examined the purple bear that Gan Ning had thrown on the floor. "Hey, Ce….. Isn't that Bobo? I though you got rid of him 15 years ago…"

Sun Ce snatched his precious teddy bear up off of the floor and threw it at Zhou Yu. "Nope. That's Zhou Yu's teddy. Not mine. What a freak, eh?"

The teddy bear hit Zhou Yu in the face, as the man turned to give his best friend a disturbed and somewhat irritated look. "MY bear? I don't think so. Who was flipping out because they though Wei was invading to take it?"

"AHA! So someone IS invading, huh! SO WHERE ARE THEY!" Sun Quan shouted again, raising his sword once more and waving it wildly. Zhou Tai, fearing the safety of his head, grabbed the sword and threw it back into the bedroom.

"Sir, please don't swing that around like that. You're going to injure someone."

"So…. Hey, do you guys want to come with me and Gan Ning to find out what all that banging is?" Lu Xun questioned, already motioning towards the pirate who had turned around and was heading back down the hallway. "GAN NING! Get back here! You wimp!"

That was the last straw. He could throw him on the floor, jump on him in fright, scream in his ear… but he could not, I repeat, could NOT call him a wimp. He turned around and headed past Lu Xun, grabbing the boy's arm and dragging him along with him as he headed further into the dark and somewhat disturbingly creepy depths of Wu's castle. The other's followed in a more delayed and cautious pace, but did follow nevertheless.

"So what are we looking for?" asked Sun Ce, clutching the purple teddy bear he had taken back from Zhou Yu.

"Clues, obviously." stated Sun Quan, looking back at his brother. "Hey, didn't you say that wasn't yours?"

"It's not." replied Sun Ce. "I'm merely holding it for Zhou Yu."

Sun Quan rolled his eyes and hurried after Zhou Tai.

The group proceeded down the hallway quietly… or, as quietly as possible with random banging noises that made Lu Xun shriek like a little girl, and caused Sun Ce to practically tear off Zhou Yu's arm. Zhou Tai and Zhou Yu remained perfectly calm, both thinking there was a perfectly normal conclusion to the noises that continued to get louder and louder. At one point, a door slammed open behind Sun Quan, causing him to yelp loudly and jump forward, practically strangling Zhou Tai in the grip he had as he jumped into his arms, wrapping both arms around his neck.

"Are you… hugging him!" came an awed voice.

Zhou Tai dropped Sun Quan immediately as everyone turned to stare at the newcomers: Jiang Wei and Zhao Yun. The speaker, Zhao Yun, continued to stare at Zhou Tai in surprise and awe, as Jiang Wei stood, glaring at the taller general. He rolled his eyes and wandered over to Zhou Yu.

"The banging woke him up, and that… that buffoon got all freaked out." Jiang Wei commented, jerking his thumb angrily back at Zhao Yun, who was now asking Zhou Tai if he had something he wanted to tell everyone.

"The banging woke us up, too. We're on our way to find out what it is. Do you want to come?" Lu Xun piped up, coming to stand next to Zhou Yu.

"ZHOU YU! I DROPPED BOBO SOMEWHERE!" Sun Ce suddenly screamed, looking around wildly. When Sun Quan rose an eyebrow, he cleared his throat and forced himself to seem calm. "Erm… I mean, Zhou Yu, I think I dropped your bear somewhere."

Zhou Yu gave a long sign before turning to Sun Ce and grabbing both of his shoulders. "Sun Ce, I want you to listen closely… I. Do. Not. Own. Your. Stuffed. Bear."

"Uh… heh… he's just joking. What a joker!" Sun Ce said slowly, forcing a laugh out.

"Aha! I knew it! You never got rid of Bobo after all! Ohoho… Just wait 'til SunShang finds out." Sun Quan said evilly, rubbing the palms of his hands together.

Sun Ce lunged at Sun Quan, but Zhou Yu grabbed him around the waist and held him back, ranting about how it wasn't young Quan's time to be mauled by someone as highly skilled as Sun Ce. All talking stopped when there was a bang, much louder than any of the previous bangs, followed by a yell so loud, that Jiang Wei covered his ears.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL GODS! WILL YOU STOP THAT!" came a hoarse yell as Cao Pi came flying out of a nearby room, fuming angrily. Zhang He followed him at a somewhat more leisurely pace.

"My lord… I was sleeping so peacefully, too." he pouted.

Everyone stared at them. His hair was slightly disheveled, and Cao Pi was flushed brightly. Not to mention the fact that Cao Pi was naked from the waist up, and Zhang He was only wearing an oversized shirt. They stood speechless for a few moments, before Zhao Yun cleared his throat.

"Erm… you two weren't… y'know… doing it, were you?" he questioned slowly.

As soon as those words left his mouth, Cao Pi gave him a death glare that almost made the whole of China blow up, as Zhang He opened his mouth and began giggling. He slid over to Cao Pi and wrapped his arms around him from the back, chewing on the edge of his ear thoughtfully.

"Why, no, of course not, dear Zhao Yun." he said, winking and cocking his head to one side.

Cao Pi shoved him away and glared at him. "DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!"

"So you WERE!" Zhao Yun exclaimed brightly.

"NO!" Zhang He and Cao Pi yelled at the same time. Everyone else merely raised their eyebrows and continued down the hallway, attempting to ignore the disturbingly disheveled men.

Zhang He was the first to call after them. "Hey, where are you going?"

Zhao Yun stopped and turned. "Oh, we're going to find out what the banging is. You just go back to your merry little time together."

"WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!" Cao Pi shrieked, rushing after the growing group.

Another bang sounded, this time much closer, and Lu Xun turned towards the door next to him. He stared at it for a moment before turning the knob and pushing the door gently open. The other random members of their little investigation squad crowded around to see what was going on. Before them was the most freakish sight that any would see in their entire lives.

Zhuge Liang was kneeling on the bed, laughing and pointing at Sima Yi, who seemed to have locked himself into the closet. As soon as he heard the nasty nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of the door opening, Zhuge Liang fell back onto the bed and pretended he was asleep. Jiang Wei rushed through the open door and looked around. The whole rooms floor was covered in books and other random objects, such as a random chair that seemed to have been thrown at someone.

"Prime Minister, what happened?" Jiang Wei asked, standing next to the bed and giving Zhuge Liang an awed glance.

Zhuge Liang sat up slowly. "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

"HE LIES! THAT MAN IS A NUTCASE! HE LOCKED ME IN THE CLOSET! HELP! I'M GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH! I EVEN THREW A CHAIR AT HIM, AND HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO DODGE IT!" came a violent and crazed sounding scream, followed by the sound of fists slamming on the closet door.

Zhou Yu had now entered the room, and was glaring evilly at Zhuge Liang. "What a loser."

At this comment, Sima Yi started laughing hysterically. "Oh yea, like you could do any better, pretty boy."

"Better than this, yes. I, at least, would've broken the chair." Zhou Yu argued back from a safe distance away from the closet.

Sun Ce was looking between Zhuge Liang, Sima Yi, and Zhou Yu, before covering his gaping mouth and preventing the scream that escaped him. "OH MY GOD! I WAS WRONG! IT'S SIMA YI, ISN'T IT! YOU'VE LIKED HIM ALONG! NOT ZHUGE LIANG!"

Zhou Yu fell over in shock, as did Zhuge Liang, who fell off the bed, and from the loud crash heard from inside the closet, it sounded as if Sima Yi had either died painfully and loudly, or fallen over, or maybe both.

"MY LORD! I SWEAR IF YOU EVER SAY ANYTHNIG LIKE THAT AGAIN, I WILL REVEAL THE TRUTH BEHIND BOBO TO THE WHOLE WORLD!"

"NOOOO! ZHOU YU! DON'T MENTION SOMETHING SO PRECIOUS IN FRONT OF THE STRATEGIST! THEY'LL INVADE!" Sun Ce squealed at the top of his lungs.

This remark caused 4 of the generals involved in the situation to draw their weapons.

"WHO'S INVADING!" shouted Gan Ning, swinging his large sword dangerously close to Lu Xun's head, who once again shrieked and ducked.

"I KNEW IT! AND YOU SAID I WAS CRAZY!" yelled Sun Quan, his sword magically in his hand, so he could swing it around wildly once again.

Sun Ce had randomly picked up the chair, and held it defensively. "I knew it! I KNEW IT! THEY'RE AFTER ME!"

"No, sir, they're only after Bobo." Zhou Yu stated calmly.

After a delayed moment, Zhao Yun pulled out his spear from midair and slammed it into the ground, giving a high-pitched battle cry. "I SHALL DEFEND THIS LAND FOR HONOR! DIE INVADERS OF CASTLE!"

There was the sound of things falling over, and then a soft knock on the closet door. Everyone silenced themselves and turned. Lu Xun answered, "Who is it?"

"Who's invading? Is it us? I wanna know!" Sima Yi whined.

At this point, Zhang He randomly to speak up. "OH MY GOSH! MY BELOEVED STRATEGIST IS LOCKED IN A CLOSET! MY LORD, WHAT'RE WE DOING, INVADING WITH OUR STRATEGIST LOCKED IN A CLOSET!"

Cao Pi gave Zhang He the most confused look he had ever given anybody in his life. "We're invading?"

"HE EVEN SAID IT! ATTACK! WE'RE BEING INVADED!" shouted Sun Ce, chucking the chair at Cao Pi, and knocking him flat on his back, and unconscious.

"I think you killed him…" Zhou Yu commented lazily as he stared down at Cao Pi's body.

"No, he's not dead. Look, he's twitching." Jiang Wei stated quietly in a bored voice.

Zhuge Liang attempted to sneak by and leave the room, but before he even made it to the door, his student had to glomp him. "NOOOO, PRIME MINISTER! I LOST YOU ONCE, I WILL NOT LOSE YOU AGAIN!"

"I suppose I'm not allowed to go to the bathroom?" asked Zhuge Liang, trying to pry off the hyperactive and very creepily attached young man. "Please let go of me. I think you're strangling me."

Jiang Wei released him, and followed him out of the room. Shrugging, Zhou Yu left also, dragging Sun Ce, who was still ranting about being invaded and losing Bobo with him. Zhou Tai grabbed Sun Quan's magically appearing sword and dragged the young lord away. Zhang He gave Cao Pi's corpse a good look before nudging it with his foot, shrugging, and leaving. Zhao Yun stood in a victory pose, laughing triumphantly over having beaten Cao Pi, even though he did not throw the chair.

After Zhao Yun had finally finished laughing, and left the room, Cao Pi still on the floor, there was a loud knock, followed by the sound of someone kicking a door. "Hello? Can somebody let me out of here? Anybody? Helloooo?".  
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Sooooo... did this chapter scare anybody else? It scared **ME** and I'm the one that wrote it. Too much sugar. Way, way too much sugar.  
Oh, and make sure you review. Lots of reviewing. It makes me happy.


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